Saturday, January 9, 2010

11 years

I can't believe it was 11 years ago today that my Dad was killed in a car accident. It seems like it was yesterday, I remember it all too well. It was a Saturday just like today and he was on his way to get his haircut when a huge truck coming downhill hit him head on. He was gone instantly. At least he didn't suffer but I wish it never happened. I will never forget the phone call as we were in a funeral procession for my best friend's Mom. It was my brother crying hysterical that my Dad was dead. The next 24 hours were sort of a blur but we made it to Iowa that next day. The rest just breaks me heart. Seeing my Dad. The funeral. Saying good-bye. It was all too much for a 15 year old girl to go through, but I had to. I'm thankful for ALL of my friends in Iowa who put their lives on hold and came to my Dad's funeral to support my brother and I. And I'm thankful for my Mom for being my rock during this most difficult time in my life.

I had to graduate high school without my Dad, walk down the aisle without my Dad, and give birth to his beautiful granddaughter, all without him physical there. Those things break my heart. 11 years of not seeing him, talking to him on the phone, laughing at how funny he is, no hugs or kisses and just not having him around. I miss my Dad so much and I just wish things would have been different that Saturday morning 11 years ago.


Merida said...

I think not having a dad around is the worst thing any little girl can go through. I don't know exactly how you feel, but I "lost" my dad when I was 12 when he left and never looked back. Thank God for our mothers who have been our rock and strength through all the hard times. But I also thank God that I had my dad for the length of time that he was here.